Inside nerdina’s Mind

nerdina shares the stories behind his stage name and songs!

For those who have not heard your music before, how would you describe it to them? How would you finish the sentence “nerdina is __” or “nerdina’s music is ___”?

“nerdina is a nerd full of inferiority.” I’m a guy who’s short, silly, dumb, greedy… but I really know that I [have] something. I don’t really know how to explain what that “something” is, but I’m sure that I can make it one day with my talents. 

What is the story behind your stage name?

There’s quite a sad but funny story about my stage name! When I went to high school, I was in a Korean rap audition program called High School Rapper. I used my Korean name, Suyeol Bae. Sadly, I failed at the audition [and] quit music. I only knew about rap [and had] no idea what to create to make people happy. Furthermore, I wasn’t sure about the question of “Who am I?” 

January 4, 2018 was my birthday and also the day that I could [start going] to clubs as a legal adult. In celebration of becoming an adult, I visited a club in Gangnam for the first time. I was hanging around with a free drink, looking for some people to talk to. I didn’t know how to flirt, dance, or attract someone. I was frustrated about my pimpled face, short stature, and quiet mouth. I defined myself [as] a nerd in a club. Getting rid of the word “club” [makes] the words put together form “nerdina.” [I’m a] nerd in a club, on campus, everywhere!

What is the story behind your newest single, “who’s ur crush?”

Back when I was a junior, there was a trend on Instagram called “NGL Anonymous Questions.” Jenny, who was popular at school, followed the trend, of course, and her Instagram filled up with anonymous alpha males. I decided to ask her something, [and] among the sample questions provided, there was only one in English. Whether it was a developer error [or not], “who’s ur crush?” popped up. To ask that kind of question in the real world, I [would have] to muster up enormous courage. The answer to my question wasn't shared on her Instagram. 

The next day, I was filled with disappointment and [a sense of] inferiority. Since my friends all went to play boring games, I went alone to a shabby pub that plays any song request, regardless of genre. The place was quite lively, perhaps because it was the weekend. Near the entrance, Jenny was alone, sipping on a glass of beer. From the crackling, cheap amp, her request was playing: “Holiday” by The Black Skirts. That song stirred a strange courage in me and made me act as if I was full of composure. The distance between her and me slowly [decreased]. I tried to reveal my intentions naturally. 

Editor's note: When asked what happened next, nerdina responded, “I want to leave the story open-ended!”

What inspired you to collaborate with Godiva again on “who’s ur crush”? 

Godiva and I have been friends since 2014. She’s a great synth player and also talented at performing jazz. Furthermore, her voice is a great fit [for the] gloomy, dreamy songs that I make.

Did you try to make this collaboration sound different from your previous collaboration with Godiva?

While making “Dumboy,” I [asked] her to become a tomboy, [and I asked] her to act like another kind of tomboy in “who’s ur crush?” If [I cast a] movie, I would definitely put Godiva in the role of a tomboy!

Is there a specific reason why you like using cartoons for cover artwork? And do you have a personal favorite?

This is the question that I really wanted to be asked! In the process of releasing songs or albums, the most important thing is definitely the music, but I think artwork that shows what I want to say is the next most important factor. [The] majority of people who listen to music don’t only listen to music. I try to give every single song a universe or a storyline. Conceptual cartoon covers are the most [frequent] thing that listeners [see] first when they open apps. Great music with great artwork is a cooperative relationship. I spend a lot of money and time discovering art designers. Working with [them] is [inspiring]. I love all of my cover artworks, but the best one [is] my first album’s cover, Delicate Daydream. 

Please share the story behind each of these songs:

“IN MY DREAMS!”: In the summer of 2022 in Gyeongju, expectations, disappointments, fears, and jealousy boiled over. To quell the rising negative thoughts, I spent countless nights drowning them in alcohol. Despite knowing it was the wrong approach, I indulged recklessly. I was still immature, neglecting feelings and letting unresolved emotions fester like sludge in my mind. 

The night [when I made this song] was no different from any other. Loud music piercing through the town bar, meaningless conversations among people I'd grown tired of seeing… To seek solace in the camaraderie of shared intoxication, I nodded along and gulped down drinks amidst the crowd. Instead of enjoying the moment, I desperately fled from the emotions that only I knew [and] understood. Eventually, drained of all energy from the escape, I returned home and fell into a deep sleep alone. 

In a shabby yet cozy studio apartment, sunlight penetrating through the cheap curtains, sprawled across the floor, I awoke to the chirping of sparrows and the cawing of crows outside the window. Delaying the recall of memories from the previous night at the bar, I hurriedly opened my notebook. [I had a] dream that came sweetly and thrillingly, leaving a vivid impression. I wrote down scenes I wanted to see again and again. Just as I [tried] to capture the essence of those deeply ingrained emotions, three [phone] notifications chimed in succession: “Did you sleep well last night?," "Oh, by the way…," [and] "You appeared in my dream yesterday." I didn't inquire about the specifics. As unrealistic and illogical as it might have been, we saw each other in our dreams on the same night. And the fact that [this person] shared that with me… warmth enveloped my ruined heart.

“SPARKS!”: In a fleeting moment, friction [was] sparked, and electricity surged through my entire body! Dominated by nameless hormones, control over [my] senses became impossible. The moment when sparks flew could have been a long-suppressed manifestation, or a "love at first sight" scene fit for a third-rate drama. The effect of [feeling] sparks [was] tremendous. Only those who have experienced it understand. 

“SPARKS!” sets the stage for the [Delicate Daydream] album's storyline. The chorus, melody, structure, and lyrics all came to me in an instant. As the production progressed rapidly, I was actually quite anxious. Unlike my past work, which was quite dark, this was bright. Upon reflection, I wondered why I was afraid to show the bright side of myself to the world [before making this song]. Perhaps “SPARKS!” was born because I wanted to cherish myself.

“Humpty Dumpty”: The protagonist of the British nursery rhyme is commonly referred to as a clumsy character. When he falls from a high wall, the king and his men can’t put his head back together. [It] feels like [he should be] the protagonist of [a] movie. I believe that a movie featuring such a flawed protagonist [should] end happily [instead]. 

The narrator [in my version of “Humpty Dumpty”] doesn't know how to play the guitar or piano. Though just a greedy amateur, he wants to create a song filled with love for a girl. He closes his eyes, filled with delight, and imagines. He confidently envisions the two becoming protagonists like those in the movie La La Land, with a happy ending. He tries to mimic adults but reveals his childish side. He admits repeating the same mistakes and falling into deep darkness. Longing for unattainable results, he pleads. Everything else is fine, he just wants love. With [shaky] confidence, he sings about complex, subtle emotions, [like being] happy yet anxious. 

When the lyrics and melody for "Humpty Dumpty" were complete, I wished for a vocalist with a deep, low voice like Frank Sinatra’s [to join the song]. No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't imagine anyone else who could understand and interpret the story and mood of this song as well as Charming Jo. So I finished the guide recording and sent him an email. Surprisingly, Charming Jo liked the song and suggested meeting at his company to discuss further. On the first day of meeting, I played the demos for all the songs on my album. Jo liked them and suggested proceeding with releasing the album through his company. At that time, [I had] always made music and listened to it alone. I was gradually losing confidence in my music. However, through the meeting, I gained a belief that the album would definitely be released, and [I grew] courage to take on challenges. Big thanks to Charming Jo!

In a dream world, what would you be doing ten years from now?

I can't really imagine [that], but I can definitely say that people [are] gonna love me and my music more than now!

Lastly, is there anything else you want to say about yourself or your music?

I believe [everyone] has their own nerdy moments in life, including me, but they try hard to hide them. I will try to express mine, without stereotypical assumptions. 

I love you all! Thank you for reading!

Check out “who’s ur crush?” here, follow nerdina on Instagram here, and subscribe to nerdina on YouTube here!

Answers have been edited and condensed for length and clarity. Photos courtesy of nerdina.